Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Giving Thanks

I'm not really sure what to post about. I guess I can start by saying that I am very Thankful. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I have so, so much that I am truly grateful for. I could just go on and on really.

2011 is almost over, which is crazy to think about. I've almost been back to work for an entire year now, I've been slaving over my CPA books for 6 months with over 300 hours of studying put in, and I'm only half way (side note: hardest thing I have done in my life. ever.). I work for Target, which not only is an awesome place to shop, it's an awesome, awesome place to work. The kids are healthy, smart, and strong. They are thriving at daycare. They make me laugh every moment. Mike's job is new and challenging, and making him stretch himself which in my book, is always the point. Our relationship is strong as ever.

We bought a house! A house we love.

And then there are the little things. The everyday on the roads, jobs that pay the bills, wood burning fireplaces for the winter. Seriously, I feel so blessed.

The best part? None of this was my doing. It's all through Him. And that, that is a feeling I can't get over.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Babies & Kids

When Miles was young, everyone used to tell me "just wait, you are going to miss having a baby so much, you'll be itching for another one by the time he's two!"


Two has come and gone, and THREE (!!) is right around the corner, and with every passing stage I just love being out of the baby stage!

Don't get me wrong, babies are super delicious, and I really loved having them around...for a time, but it's more of a 'been there, done that' attitude. Plus with friends having babies every month, it's not like I can't see one now and then! I had a nephew in August, will have another in a couple of weeks, and another (don't know the gender, guessing nephew) in May.

SEE? Plenty of babies. That doesn't even include friends.

Okay, let's be honest too, the cost of daycare for three children is silly to think about, and since I love, love, love working outside the home, and find a ton of fulfillment in my job, well, we aren't going there!

** Can I add that it's snowing out. Both kids are napping. I have a fresh cup of coffee in my hand. Great afternoon. Now off to study 'Secured Transactions!'

Saturday, November 12, 2011

It's brewing

A new idea, it's forming, and I certainly don't talk about it around here. Not yet anyway.

The "S" word, that little word holds huge weight around here. Our "S" word is Study and my husband has had it up to his ears with "I have to go out and study..."

BUT, I've made it half way through the CPA exams. I certainly still have my work cut out for me, and am not on the downside yet, but I started entertaining the thought of not having anything to do.

What would I do with all my free time??? Answer: anything I wanted.

Which is super awesome except for a few things: Mom's never have free time. Period. So if I am not busy studying, I would be busy with something else. Secondly, if I'm not learning, I am really very bored. Third, and here is my idea brewing, Target pays for your MBA at Carlson School of Management (University of Minnesota). Not reimbursement, not we pay the $5250 max per year, they full out PAY FOR IT. As in, if you can get in, we'll give you money for books and you won't see a bill.

A free MBA.

I kinda want one, something I never thought I would want, but I can see that idea changing...

I have no idea why I can't just settle down.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Still Alive/A Day in the Life/How I do it

Something is terribly wrong when you open your Google reader and find over 100 (gulp) unread posts.

For real? I only follow like 14 blogs? Anyway, here is a post for you, since I am still alive and kickin' it.

I actually started by trying to do a Day in the Life post. You know a nice little chronicle about what I do on a daily basis? I ended up boring myself. I’ll break it down for you in a few sentences:

I wake up at 5:00, leave for work around 6:00; Study for an hour at work; work for 8 hours; study for 2 hours at Starbucks (twice a week); see my kids for 1.5 hours; put them to bed; prep things for the next day; go to bed.

Yawn. Boring. Yes, it sort of sucks, and yes I miss my kids, and yes, I miss sitting and doing nothing.

This whole “work-life balance” idea, the “make it happen” mentality. I swear it doesn’t really exist, but the fact that it doesn’t exist doesn’t stop me from trying to achieve that pot of gold. I get up every day at 5:00 a.m., and on a typical day I move for 16+ hours straight-- kids, studying, work, meetings, commuting, laundry, dinner, cleaning, baths, stories, bedtime…trust me, I feel the pull.

No, I’m not superwoman. I barely feel adequate on most days.

There are always those work to do items that get left to the way side-- floors, clothes, and dishes that, for some reason, fail to clean themselves. Laundry that has been sitting in a laundry basket, waiting to be put away, for weeks... As a list maker, and a Type-A to the core, there are tasks that never get that satisfying check mark in my planner. There is always the guilt that I’m not doing enough, or not being there enough for my kids, husband, family, or friends, when the truth is, I’m doing everything I can.

And you know what, most days I don’t care. That's right. I DON'T CARE.

I give myself permission to just Give it Up.

I like being busy, I love chaos, but at the end of the day, life is still reality. I’m not going to get everything done, and certainly not perfectly. I am going to run out of time, and miss-prioritize. Some days studying gets ahead of the kids, or the kids take precedence over studying. I must give myself permission to quit stressing over the dirty dinner dishes and stop to read my kids a story. I must quit stressing over the next chapter to study, and sit and talk with my husband. I must stop feeling like I am being a bad friend when I say “I can’t come, I have to study.” I can’t do it all, but I can do some of it.

Tomorrow really is another day. Another day to study, answer emails, spend time with people I love. Another day to reign in that ridiculous to-do list. I’ll be the first to admit that some days I am really good at this and some days I fail miserably. Who among us hasn’t gotten up at 4:00 am to get something done or who hasn’t felt like a rotten mother for snapping at our kids, when we are really stressing about something else. But tomorrow gives us another chance. Another opportunity to be the best, wife, mom, friend, colleague, and person that I can be.

That’s how I do it. How do you?