Sunday, November 7, 2010

The beauy of change.

My mantra is "the best thing about life, is that we have the ability to change it." If we are ever unhappy with where we are in our story, we have the opportunity to change our situation, or at the very least, change our attitude about the situation.

We are "touring" 4 home daycares this week. The reality of it all is sitting right on my doorstep and I am trying to avoid thinking about it.

I know that I have said it before, but I'll say it again. I never planned on being a stay at home mom. I've always pictured myself working...but then you have a baby, and my oh my, many things change.

I have been sooo blessed to be able to stay home with my kids for the past 2.5 years (has it really been that long?), and although we muddle through some days, and some days I am ripping my hair out, or raising my voice one too many times, it has really been great. I am so happy that I have been able to provide a solid, consistent, structure to their lives, and that every morning after they've woken up, I've been there to wake up with them and take our time to start the day. We relax and laugh at breakfast, and take baths at 10 in the morning, we can have a movie date in the middle of the afternoon if we want.

And now all of that consistency, all of that familiarity, is about to change. Dramatic? Well, probably not to anyone else, but it will be to me. Our lives are going to be somewhat turned upside down, and it will take a while to get used to a new normal. To be perfectly honest I am scared out of my mind.

I'm scared of a million things. Scared I'll hate going to work (something I've worked so hard for), scared the kids will get sick all the time, scared I'll have no balance, scared other kids at daycare will be mean to mine, scared we'll constantly have scheduling issues, scared they won't get the attention they need.

And while I know that all of these things are very valid concerns, I also know that they'll be fine. They'll be (hopefully) excited about going, they'll adjust quickly, and they'll make friends. I know this, but I just have to experience it first hand before I can relax.

Life is about to change. Change is hard, change is scary, but I truly believe that change keeps us moving forward, and keeps us reaching for the next level. Change keeps us from becoming stagnant, and that my friends, is a beautiful thing.

So I am hoping that in a few months I can look back on this post and smile. I can take a deep breath and know that everything is working out just as it should. I can look at all the things I was worried about and I can give myself a little laugh and say it wasn't all that bad!

Just remember that the most wonderful thing about life is our ability to change it!


Mrs. B. said...

So true...the one constant in life is change. Always change.
I'm sure everything will work out wonderfully with the kids and the childcare situation. And, if it doesn't, the beauty of you mantra means that you can reevaluate and keep trying until you find the best situation. :)

snh said...

You know what's sad is when you see people who are so afraid of change that they'll stay in a life they don't love. There's something about living in a small town where you see lots of people like this, and they're miserable in their jobs, relationships and life and they won't do anything to change it. I definitely agree that change keeps you from becoming stagnant, and that is a great thing.

Annie said...

yeah seanna- I see it in people we know here (in a BIG city). I want to scream "I think you might be unhappy, change it!!" But I guess you have to change for yourself.

Andrea said...

All valid concerns, but your kids will be fine. You will be fine too. You'll have to juggle your priorities a bit... like for me, housework is pretty much at the bottom of the list. I've gotten used to living in a "lived in" house. I would love for it to be all picked up and clean, but that won't happen. I also have had to put some of the things I enjoy aside... crafting... sewing... scrapbooking... but I hope someday I'll be able to get back into them more.